That's what I over heard my 5yr old daughter sobbing into her pillow tonight as my husband tucked her into bed. I stood in her door way stunned at what I was hearing, I listened as she recounted to him how I took a penny for her tonight for throwing a temper fit and how she thought that it was unfair because her sister didn't lose one. Before I knew it, I was laying in bed with her ready to defend my parenting to my crying 5yr when I realized I was wrong. Not for disciplining her but for making her feel like I favored her sister over her. Maybe it's true that as a parent I put more pressure on her to "act her age" or to be the well behaved " big sister". I never realized it before tonight that I was treating her differently then her younger counter part. I can sit her an say that I don't favor one over then other and that I love them equally, but to my 5yr old my words and my actions say something very differently. After apologizing to her for making her feel like she was less to me then her sister I started thinking about the changes I need to make with in myself to be a better mom. The changes she needs me to make so that we can move forward and have a healthy mother daughter relationship and a happy healthy family.
I'm not the perfect parent and I will go to bed tonight a little sad and a little ashamed that I hurt my child so emotionally that she felt unloved but I will wake in the morning ready to prove to her that she is loved and she is equal in my eyes and in my heart.
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